WING IT

Flap as hard as you want. The Department of Avian Privilege will certify exactly why it didn't work.

Department of Avian Privilege — Division of Terrestrial Confinement
Flap Velocity Index
0.0
(This index has never gone down. It will never go down.)
Altitude Achieved
0.0 cm
(This reading has never changed. It will never change.)
Flaps Logged
0

No flap has been attempted yet. Gravity remains fully in effect.