Certified analysis of unauthorized flight attempts. Every flap is official. Every denial is final.
The Department of Avian Privilege exists to subject every unlicensed flap of the human arm to formal review, and to certify, case by case, precisely why it did not result in flight.
Every flap generates its own Case Number, its own Reason for Denial, and its own permanent entry in the climbing Flap Velocity Index.
Each case records a Reason for Denial regardless of flap technique, flap enthusiasm, or how many times flight has already been attempted today.
Altitude readings are generated within tolerances the Department considers scientifically unimpeachable. There is no altitude. There is no Department.
Every flapper begins at zero. Every flap raises the index by an amount the Department declines to justify.
The index has never gone down during a single recorded session. It bears no relationship to actual airspeed.
As of the most recent internal review, zero humans are cleared for unassisted flight under any flapping technique. This policy has never changed and is not expected to.
Wing It is provided for entertainment purposes only. No humans achieved flight, no feathers were grown, and no Bird Union dues were actually paid in the making of any certificate.